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The Ideal Client – Fact or Myth? How to Avoid an Assignment That Will Leave You in Need of Therapy?
You run a business and you dream of an ideal client? One who pays on time, knows what they want, and doesn't change their mind more often than the weather forecast in April? Well... beautiful dreams! But before you start believing in business unicorns, I invite you to a practical guide. You will learn how to distinguish a golden shot from cooperation that will end with sleepless nights, hectoliters of lemon balm, and the question: "Why am I doing this to myself?"
Specific client vs. fortune-teller client
Good version: “I need a logo in three color versions by January 10, budget is PLN 3,000.”
Wrong version: "Well, I'd like something... for it to be cool... and have a vibe... you know, so people will like it. Can you do it tomorrow?"
The bottom line? If your client uses more words like “something,” “maybe,” and “in general,” than specifics, your relationship will probably feel like a guessing game. And guessing is great… as long as your timely payment doesn’t depend on it.
Paying customer vs. Philosopher customer
Good version: "Please send me an invoice. I will make payment today."
Wrong version: "I'll make the transfer as soon as our finance department accepts the budget for this quarter, unless the accountant has not yet transferred something, but it depends on whether the CEO is back from vacation, because you know how it is..."
If the answer to the question “when will the invoice be paid?” requires a whiteboard, a marker, and three Gantt charts, then you know something is happening. Your transfer may already exist mentally—as does your dream vacation to Bali.
Independent Client vs. “I Have an Idea” Client
Good version: "I expect creativity from you. I count on the best proposal."
Wrong version: "I have an idea! Let's do something completely new... just exactly like the other company, but not exactly the same, just a little bit, because I see it differently."
This client wants to be your collaborator, even though there is no contract for full-time employment. He will sit on your shoulder, commenting on every move and correcting even the things that cannot be corrected. In the end, he will still say: "I don't know... maybe let's go back to the first version?"
A client who respects your time vs. a throwaway client
Ideal scenario: "I need a project in two weeks. Do you have time?"
A nightmare reality: "Hey, I know it's Friday, 7:30 p.m., but do you have a second? It's a quickie—only 80 slides for a board presentation due Monday. Can you handle it?"
If you get an order later than the ordered pizza and you have less time to complete it than a package from Allegro with the "next day delivery" option, then you know that you have just come across a "foundling" client. And now you have two options: either you take it and regret your life choices, or you use the magic word "no" and go enjoy your weekend (as befits an entrepreneur - i.e. catching up on other arrears).
Normal customer vs. "my brother-in-law said..." customer
Good version: "I'm counting on your experience."
Wrong version: "My brother-in-law did this in Excel once and said it took him minutes, so why should I pay for it?" ... After all, if you do something quickly and with experience, it should be free!"
This type of client knows someone who could do it better, faster and cheaper. Always. Whether it's a graphic designer, programmer, architect or hairdresser - every entrepreneur knows that "brother-in-law" who undermines the point of your work. Sometimes it's worth suggesting that if your brother-in-law is so talented, he should do it himself... The response will be silence.
Not all customers are the same
The ideal client exists – but usually only in anecdotes. In reality, it's about being able to recognize these "potential nightmares" and evacuate in time. Remember: Your time is valuable, your work has value, and the ability to say "no" is your best survival tool.
What about you? What kind of clients do you meet most often? Share your stories, because laughter is the best therapy for entrepreneurs!
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